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Adoption can be a beautiful and life-changing experience for both the children and parents involved. It could offer kids a stable family environment, and it can help adults start or grow their families. However, not every adoption story has a happy ending.
According to Alice Gibbs of Newsweek, the topic of adoption was recently brought to light in an online post from October 24, in which a soon-to-be bride came to the conclusion that she did not want her adoptive sister to attend her wedding.
The author of the article, who is also engaged to be married, is the youngest of her parents' children. They had always desired a larger family but had had multiple miscarriages; as a result, they chose to expand their family through adoption instead and had a baby girl that way. Seven months after they adopted her sister, they conceived her and her parents said she was their "miracle baby."
To provide some background, the future bride thought it was important to mention that both of her parents are white, but that her adopted sister is of "Hispanic and Black" descent. Growing up, the two sisters were inseparable; they participated in all of the same activities, and many even said that they seemed to be twins. This tight bond lasted far into her adoptive sister's adulthood, until the time when she learned about her biological family and met them.
Initially, she was thrilled for her adoptive sibling and writes, "My sister always said that she felt like something was missing, and finding her family seemed to be the missing piece. But then she started to treat my parents differently. She would constantly berate them for choosing to adopt, because she said adoption, especially trans-racial adoption, was wrong. She said that the experience was traumatizing to her, and that she wasn’t properly prepared for being a POC (person of color) due to their color blindness."
She chose not to get involved in that conversation because she didn't feel it was her place to comment on her adopted sister's relationship with their parents. But when the sister said something hurtful and made their mom cry, she started pulling away from her. The adopted sister stated that the parents should have gotten therapy for their infertility, instead of becoming "baby snatchers."
The bride-to-be explains that even though the two sisters weren't friends anymore, she couldn't imagine completely ending the relationship. Disinviting her from her wedding wasn't an option either. "She was the one who introduced me to my fiancé after all," said the bride. "So I told myself that she was my sister no matter what, and kept her as my maid of honor."
After the bride saw a picture her sister posted on social media of herself with her biological siblings, she changed her mind about the wedding invite and the "maid of honor" status. The sister's caption read: “It’s been such a relief to find my real family. I finally feel like I’m home."
The bride was heartsick. She clarified that she had always thought of her sister as, well, her sister. But apparently, to her sister, she wasn't really a sibling. The bride didn't think it would be appropriate for her to call, so she explained in a text that since she wasn't seen as a "real family" member, there was no sense in coming to the wedding at all.
In the end, the bride decided to block her sister from her phone. And now, their other common acquaintances are allegedly spreading the rumor that she is referring to her as a racist. She writes, "I don’t think there’s any way to come back from this. I’m heartbroken about losing my sister. And I’m heartbroken that I never had one in the first place."
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